if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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