You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
