I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
BRING THE BAGELS
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
