from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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