i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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