Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
