I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
