You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You are the jesus of drinking
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
