Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
