I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
