I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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