she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
