I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Damn victory sex feels great
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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