I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think I won the penis lottery.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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