I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Pappa wants mamma naked
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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