i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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