Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Life is so much better after having sex.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
