If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
too bad you live with your parents still
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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