its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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