She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
