it was like eating out sand paper
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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