didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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