I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
