in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
