i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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