Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
