I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
