I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm both gender and math confused
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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