Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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