It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
