My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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