So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
