I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
