Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
