Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
