just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
