sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize