I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
