They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
