After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize