actually, I'm a sock model
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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