Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
