Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize