i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
