the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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