maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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