Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
