Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't deserve a penis
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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