how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
