All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
