you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
