Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize