Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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