Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
