Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize