i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
so much tequila, so little girl.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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