an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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