Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
