Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
