so that wasnt chicken after all
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
