If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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