If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
