their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
