is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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