New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Text me some of your sweat
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
