why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
