It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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