Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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