At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
