Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
