You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
