So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
