so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
