They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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