After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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