Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
