That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize