Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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