i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
