Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
