I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
