Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
