i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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